fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
