It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
