In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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