I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
