these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
