my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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