I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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