just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
