Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
