even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
