Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
