she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
