Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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