Swine flu. Run for my life!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
this just has baby written all over it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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