This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
