I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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