I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
