I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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