Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
