my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
