Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
