Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Let's paint friendship bongs
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
