Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
