I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
