there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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