I love black thongs
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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