You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out