why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
