Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize