i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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