I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
