BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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