if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
