I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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