Kiss
Puke
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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