the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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