and you said cock pushups were impossible
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize