WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
