i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
