I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
