so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
