I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
