I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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