hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
