I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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