I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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