We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
