You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He shit in the fireplace
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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