ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You were trust falling into bushes
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
