You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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