Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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