Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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