If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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