Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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