I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
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i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
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... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
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