In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
