my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
