hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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