Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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