This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
