I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
