so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
