Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
