I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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