Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
