just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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